Light Your Fire
by EminaC6
Summary: 42 Nations, 42 songs, 42 stories to tell. Tonight, it's their moment in the spotlight, and their chance to show Europe everything they have. Eurovision 2012 - Light Your Fire.
1. You Can't Even Look At Me

**Emma:** Hello there! This is Emma CS Me speaking, one of the two authors (the other being the lovely TinaBanina 96). Now, this is a fic concerning each participant of the Eurovision Song Contest 2012. Each participant will receive a chapter of their own, as well as occurring in others' plotlines. Um, I am no good at concluding author's notes so... enjoy?

**Tina:** This is Tina just sneaking in on Emma's chapter to say hello! Enjoy this chapter, featuring Azerbaijan (who better to start with than the host of Eurovision 2012?) xx

* * *

**You Can't Even Look at Me**

1.

"AH YOU'RE HERE! Oh, I'm so excited! Hello! God, it's been awhile since we got to see each other, right brother? But I'm so happy! You're here! This is going to be amazing!"

"'Zeri... Might be _more_ amazing if I don't suffocate to death before we even sing."

"Bwuh? Oh, sorry! Just... EEEE!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You've said. Many times. For the last year. Ya hear what I'm sayin'?"

"...Yeah. Well, after this chances are you won't have to put up with it anymore, so yeah. Unless I manage two wins in a row, which would be cool but I don't think it's going to happen."

"Or if I win, because you probably wouldn't ever shut up then either."

"Yeah, probably not. Anyway, I have to go do my good little hostess duties, so – see you Turkey, good luck with the contest! Love you!"

"Yeah, yeah, you too."

* * *

2.

"Hey you three! I wasn't expecting you altogether. Hello!"

"Ah, Azerbaijan. I can see you're excited!"

"YES."

"...Indeed."

"W-we agreed we'd g-go together, makes th-th-"

"Okay Latvia, you don't have to do the rest of the talking. So, how are you all; it feels like it's been months since we talked."

"Well, I can't speak for the other two, but I've actually seen you fairly recently, Azerbaijan. We're close, right? ...I-I mean, we're friends and trade partners so there's no reason we shouldn't talk to each other frequently–"

"–R-right, we have longstanding ties and hence it makes sense for us to contact one another somewhat frequently, but we're not overly bound together and both of us have closer allies–"

"D-do you two not have to do the rest of the talking either?"

"Oh, shut up Latvia! ...At Lithuania, stop laughing at me!"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. In answer to your question: yes, we are all fine. How are you?"

"Oh I – I'm great, really. I'm so excited!"

"As I previously mentioned."

"...Yes, yes you did."

"Well. We should probably start moving up to our hotel room."

"You want help?"

"There are three of us; we should manage. We'll see you around, Azeri; good luck with the competition."

"See you! Good luck!"

* * *

3.

"Hey! Do you want some help with your things?"

"Oh hello – uh, I _do_ know your name... Let me think... No, not Albania... Not Andorra... Not Antigua and Barbuda..."

"Um, I'm the host country? We've been hanging out together in the finals room for a few days?"

"...Angola?"

"No."

"Argentina?"

"No."

"Abkhazia?"

"That's not actually a recognised country."

"Azkaban?"

"That's a fictional prison!"

"Armenia?"

"...No. Just no."

"Oh, I give up. Tell me!"

"Azerbaijan! My name is Azerbaijan!"

"...OOOH. Haha, well done! I really didn't think of that! Anyway, I should be fine on my own, gracias."

"...Okay then..."

* * *

4.

"Azerbaijan, you are allowed to sit down. You look tired, and I'm starting to worry."

"Huh? Oh, I'm just trying to check on everyone, make sure they're settling in well, since most of them haven't been here before. Good hostess duties! Besides, you always worry."

"This is despite the fact lost of them don't seem to know who you are?"

"...Okay, yeah, I was noticing that. Still, it's not like I didn't know I was obscure. With any luck, people will get to know me now and it will really help out my country!"

"I see... That seems fair enough, really. I admire how hard you're working."

"Yeah, and with Lithuania calls you hard-working, that means you're being truly impressive."

"Don't tease me."

"But I tease people! It's what I do! I'm really cheerful all the time!"

"Just try not to set anything on fire, please."

"I make no promises. Besides, the slogan this year is 'light your fire'."

"Why did we agree to let you do that?"

"Because. Anyway, I can't imagine you acting any different when hosting this thing – with the overworking, not the setting things on fire – have you ever hosted this?"

"Erm, no. Estonia and Latvia have, though. Maybe you should ask _one_ of them..."

"W-what are you trying to imply?"

"Hmm? Oh nothing."

"You've spent too much time with Poland."

"Yes. Yes I have."

* * *

5.

"Hey Georgia."

"Hi."

"...How are you?"

"Fine, fine. What are you doing here? Weren't you meant to be preparing with the other automatic finalists?"

"Well, yes, but it's the UK's turn and, um, I snuck out?"

"Is he that bad?"

"No! I mean... I don't know, but... It was just awkward, okay?"

"Let me guess, they were acting like you didn't exist?"

"They _always_ act like I don't exist. It's really annoying. I mean, it's my contest, right?"

"Technically it's Europe's contest; you just happen to be hosting it this year."

"Okay, I did not come for a semantic argument. Besides, I won, I don't just 'happen' to be hosting it."

"True. Has it done everything you wanted?"

"...What do you mean?"

"Well, they're paying a little attention to you. Not much, but a little."

"Yeah. Yay. Kind of the whole point."

"Just curious – how much do you want them to see?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"...Okay then."

"It's a pity Armenia didn't make it this year, isn't it?"

"Geor–!"

"Just saying."

* * *

6.

"Fuck!"

"Is something wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, no, nothing, nothing. Just politicians being, y'know, politicians. I didn't mean to interrupt! Carry on! Whose rehearsal are we up to?"

"France's. Wait, when did you leave – um, Ablagan?"

"...Well, at least you're making something up yourself now. I snuck out – didn't you notice?"

"..."

"Taking that as a no."

"Ah, dearest Azeri – hold on, we may have to pause this performance for a brief moment – is everything quite alright? We wouldn't want you to suffer for our sakes."

"Keep your hands off her, Frog, or I'll sic Turkey on you."

"For the love of god, England, this is not the time."

"Uh... no, I'm fine. I mean, I've had fights with my politicians before but... Wow this is awkward."

"Azerbaijan, you can't fault us for being concerned. I – um, I don't wish to be rude but – your human rights situation is... not the best."

"Where did you come from? Anyway, can we just not talk about this? It wasn't anything big, and like, mind your own business. Wasn't France meant to be singing?"

"...Indeed I was. Oh well. I suppose I have no choice but to continue."

* * *

7.

"She really shouldn't even be in this contest."

"An' here we go..."

"Don't act all victimised. It is nothing to do with her ethnicity, or her faith, or her geography. We simply should not allow dictatorships like her into the Eurovision song contest. This is a European event, which means it should espouse European values; the importance of democracy is one of the most critical thereof."

"Please, how many of us have been democratic for more than a hundred years? Besides, 'Zeri's tryin'. This stupid contest means a lot to her, I don't want her to get kicked out."

"Of course you don't want her to get kicked out, bastard, she always gives you twelve points."

"Yeah, and you'd be just fine if Cyprus weren't votin' no more? Or even if little North were affecting the vote? Also, if you're gonna go applying rules to her you gotta be fair about 'em. What about Belarus? Russia? My little sis' ain't the only one with the post-communist blues."

"Fine! Give them all a message, that Europe will absolutely reject them if they continue to fly in the face of human rights."

"Austria, I don't think you're helping. Turkey, listen here: you only want what's best for little - um, Avedeban?"

"_Azerbaijan_. Fuckin' hell, it's not that hard."

"Well - would you like her to be more democratic, more progressive, like yourself? I mean, I'm not certain about this but... Please try and understand where they are coming from."

"...And what'll you do, after kicking her out? Pressure her for reform? Help her change? Or will you just ignore her, 'cause hey, what's one more little weird Asian dictatorship in a country no-one's ever heard of?"

"Uh, guys?"

"...Azerbaijan."

"So, um, the caterers put a lot of tea and coffee downstairs. Like, could feed a whole nation. Which is what you guys are, so - you can like, go downstairs and get some. Variety there is crazy, seriously. There are coffees even you'd find too strong, brother."

"Well that's impressive. You heard 'er, everybody. Let's go."

* * *

8.

"I didn't cheat!"

"Please calm down, Azerbaijan; no-one said that – we just wish to have a word with you about certain voting patterns–"

"No! Don't treat me like I'm stupid, like I haven't been paying attention; none of you want me here so–"

"Azerbaijan, you are not making anything easier by thinking conspiratorially. Here are the facts: Cyprus's jury says they did not give you points, hence the high score you received from seems suspicious. It seems most of your high scores came from somewhat smaller nations, where televoting could be easily swayed."

"This – this is stupid and circumstantial! I haven't done anything, honestly, I play this game fair and square–"

"Austria, I think you're intimidating her. We just worry, Azerban-"

"_Azerbaijan_! How fucking hard is it to remember? It's four syllables; maybe I'm not the biggest polyglot out there, but I think your languages should all be capable of that much, right? And don't think I don't know about you Spain! You were let in for fifteen years when you were a fascist dictatorship! And so were the Yugoslavs, both when they were _commies_ like us and when they were all trying to kill each other! And do any of you remember, how Finland joined in for Intervision that once, on the other side of the Iron Curtain? So how dare any of you act like you're too good for me?"

"'Zeri! Just calm down, okay? Fuck, nobody meant anything to piss you off. Just... are you sure your government couldn't have done something, without you knowing about it? I'm not tryin' to blame ya, it's just people smell something fishy, that's all."

"Brother–? Wow, great support there! What, are you just gonna let them kick me out of the contest now? Yeah, I heard your little chat! Jesus, Europe's as full of backstabbing assholes as you always said it was."

"No, Azeri. I'm not letting them kick you out of the competition. Just – hey, it would be nice to be able to disagree with you for fucking once without you acting like the sky's falling in!"

"...Of course. We can have our differences, and politely and respectfully resolve them, can't we? Because that's what we do. As modern nations. As civilised, progressive, _European_ nations."

* * *

9.

"Hello, Azeri."

"What do you want?"

"I heard your screaming match with half of Europe before. You really can be loud when you want to be."

"It's a family trait. Though we have learnt it's a bad idea to be so on one of Kyrgyz's mountains."

"Hmm. I wouldn't worry, about them wanting to prevent you competing. It will blow over. I don't think they would want to anger Russia that much, and besides – Turkey would never allow it."

"...I kind of owe my brother an apology, huh?"

"You really do. He was only trying to help."

"Fuck. You know, I somehow get this feeling most of them don't really care. They want the strange pseudo-European land to go away, with its human rights abuses and its obviously impossible to remember name. What? Doesn't that sound plausible to you?"

"...Yes. Yes it does. But that doesn't necessarily mean they don't have a point."

"But who the hell decided they have the right to kick me out? That they're 'real' Europe, and the rest of us are just awkward hangers on? Is it because of the money?"

"Well, that _is_ why five of them automatically get through to the final..."

"So basically, the rest of us have to fit the little categories? So Ukraine and Portugal are allowed to have revolutions here, but I'm not even meant to show up?"

"I think you might be, um, slightly overdramatic now."

"...I'm always overdramatic."

"Mmm. You know, I did mention something like this in my song a few years ago."

"Really? When? I don't remember that. Heh, maybe I could edit my song just to piss 'em off. When the music dies, right? Second I stop singing they forget all about me."

"I think that may be against the rules, Azeri. And I'm not surprised you don't remember – it was 2010?"

"...Sparkly short-shorts year?"

"Yes. That one. I did my little passive-aggressive rant about the way everyone thinks of Eastern Europe, but distracted them with the costume."

"And that is the true meaning of Eurovision... Wait, do I count as Eastern Europe?"

"Probably, if you count as Europe at all."


	2. Farthest of the Stars

**Tina: **Hello again! Emma is off writing the next chapter and being all fantastic, so just me for now :) Please enjoy this chapter, and forgive my terrible non-ability at writing Latvia!

* * *

**Farthest of the Stars**

1.

"Estonia?"

"Yes Latvia?"

"Do you think I can win this year?"

"I think you've done as well as you could."

"But is it enough?"

* * *

2.

"Hey, watch where you're going!"

"Ah! I-I'm sorry!"

"You could've knocked my mask off or something!"

"Oh Turkey, leave the poor boy alone. He's already shaking like he has drunk a few too many of those American energy drinks."

"What's it to you Frenchy?"

"Absolutely nothing. I am merely bored with this whole 'waiting for my turn' thing."

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry if I scared you kid! Just look where you're going next time, alright?"

"Au revoir, Turkey."

"See ya round."

"Don't mind him, mon petit."

"Ah, okay Mr France..."

"Your song this year was quite hopeful. The lyrics had a certain... je ne sais quoi."

"I was thinking that maybe I could... win it this year or something..."

"Ah Latvia, you have won this competition before, oui?."

"A long time ago!"

"10 years is not that long."

"That's practically forever!"

"Ah, I forgot that you have not been in this competition for as long as some of us."

"How long have you been doing this, Mr. France?"

"Since the humble beginnings, mon petit. You are but a child in the eyes of Eurovision, Latvia, albeit one who has done remarkably well, for such a short span of time. I recall, that in your debut, you placed third, correct?"

"That is true..."

"And two years after that, you beat us all. An impressive achievement, mon petit. "

"I guess..."

"So do not worry about winning or losing today, hmm? You have time yet."

* * *

3.

"Latvia!"

"Ms. Ukraine!"

"I liked your song! It was very happy! I only hope my song will have just as much-"

"Mmmmmph! "

"Oh dear! Latvia, I apologise, you're just so little, I did not realise I was crushing you!"

"D-don't apologise Ms. Ukraine. I'm ok. I've always been small..."

* * *

4.

"That was a very cheery song, little Latvia. You think you will be winning this competition, da?"

"Yes... I mean no... I mean..."

"Do not worry. My song will be blowing your song out of the water, as they say."

"Yes, Mr. Russia."

* * *

5.

"How do you think it went?"

"Your song was very positive, most likely one of the happiest of this year's group. You seem quite intent on winning this year, Latvia."

"Yes, I am."

"Is there a reason for this?"

"I just..."

"Yes?"

"I just want to be remembered for something, I guess."

"And you think winning will help with that? You have won before."

"I don't know. I just think this time, it will be different. Maybe this time, if I win, I can just show the world how great I am for once."

"I didn't think you were one for boosting your own ego."

"I'm not! I just... I've never been strong, really. I don't do amazing things, and through all of history, I've just been picked on. When people remember my name, it's because they remember you, and remember Lithuania, and I just tag along like an afterthought, really."

"My past is just as bullied as yours."

"But now you're so successful! Everything you do is memorable now, with your fancy computers and your economic stability!"

"Latvia..."

"I am just trying to reach for the stars..."

* * *

6.

"And now to announce the finalists of the first Semi-Final for Eurovision 2012! In first place, is Russia!"

"Big brother! That is wonderful!"

"I knew my song would be winning over all of yours."

"I am so proud of my little brother!"

"_Estonia?"_

"...Greece is the fourth finalist!"

"...Hey, cat-head, wake up!"

"Gah, what?"

"You're in the damn finals."

"_Yes, Latvia?"_

"...Ireland will be the sixth finalist from this round!"

"WHAT? With that bloody tween pop again?"

"_Thank you."_

"...is Denmark at the number nine spot!"

"SUCK IT LOSERS."

"Shut up idiot. Have some tact for once."

"_For what?"_

"And the last finalist from Semi-Final One of Eurovision 2012 is..."

"_Just being here."_

"Hungary!"

"I... I didn't get in..."

"No... Latvia it's ok."

"But I... I didn't..."

"Shhh... it will be ok, Latvia."

"Estonia?"

"Yes?"

"Please don't let go..."

* * *

7.

"It's okay Estonia. I just need to go to the bathroom. You can go. I promise I'll find you in a minute."

"Are you sure?"

"I'll be fine..."

* * *

8.

"Oh, hey, that you Latvia?"

"Oh... um, hello Ms. Azerbaijan..."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm f-fine."

"You don't look fine to me! Don't tell me, you're feeling down about the finals, right?"

"H-how did you know?"

"I'm the host, right? It's my job to know what's going on in my own home!"

"Ah, I see..."

"Don't cry Latvia! Tell me what's wrong?"

"N-nothing. It's stupid. It's n-not like I haven't lost before."

"Losing's never easy, but it's nothing to be ashamed of either."

"I know that. I j-just really wanted people to remember my name this year. It's stupid. I'm stupid."

"Hey, don't worry too much about it. Honestly, being remembered can be a lot harder than you'd think it would be! Trust me on that!"

"I guess..."

"Hey, I liked your song!"

"Thank you..."

"Now come on, let's get you some tissues or something."

* * *

9.

"Latvia! There you are! Where did you find him Azerbaijan?"

"He was just having a bit of alone time in one of the green rooms."

"Like, oh my gosh, thanks! Estonia's been freaking out about it, and Liet here was going to start pulling his hair!"

"Thank you, Azerbaijan."

"No problem! Sorry guys, gotta run! See you around!"

"Toodles!"

"Latvia! We've been worried about you! Estonia said you went to the bathroom an hour ago. Are you ok?"

"I'm better now."

"We should, like, probably take him to Estonia."

"I'm n-not a baby. I can find him."

"Just let us take you, okay? We were worried about our brother..."

"Your brother. I totally wasn't worried."

"Timing, Poland."

"I told you he was just chilling."

"I'm fine, Lithuania. Let's just go find Estonia..."

* * *

10.

"You tried your best Latvia."

"I was stupid to think I could get that far..."

"There is always next year. Do not beat yourself up about it."

"That's easy for you to say Estonia. You always do so well!"

"You can do it too, one day."

"It's too far to reach!"

"But it is never too far to dream."


	3. Come On and Dance

**Emma: **Hello all; this is me sneaking in with my second chapter! It took... a little longer to write than I hoped for, oops. Nevermind! We shall venture onward!

* * *

**Come On and Dance**

1.

"Is – is that Russia?"

"I think so..."

"Uh – hide?"

"Sound plan."

"Let's go!"

"My Baaaaltics!"

"Too late."

"Ah, hello, you all! I was curious as to when you would arrive! Aww, it is so cute to see you all banded together as such, like mice scurrying from an angry cat!"

"Ah – Mr. R-Russia, sir... Y-you're..."

"Um, we wanted to ask – the..."

"Your outfit, it's..."

"Hmm? What about my outfit?"

"...It – it's–"

"It's...?"

"It's – cute. Sir. M-Mr. Russia, your costume is... cute."

"Oh, do you think so little Latvia? Thank you! Ah, they are a quaint little group from Buranovo, a village in Udmurtia between the Volga and the Urals; they mostly make covers of popular music songs. Alas, there are actually eight of them, but the silly rules only allowed six to compete; can you believe that? Anyway, they mostly sing in Udmurt, a Uralic minority language of mine!"

"Oh, well Mr. Russia, me and Latvia; we have Baltic languages so we possibly help you with that – in fact maybe we better leave right now, just so we don't interfere..."

"Ah, I see, I understand. Well no matter; little Estonia speaks a Uralic tongue, so I won't be completely helpless, da?"

"W-wait – where are you guys going? – LATVIA! LITHUANIA! COME BACK! _LAAAAATVIAAAA_!"

* * *

2.

"I don't understand."

"Why of course not, sweet Angleterre. Your inferior sense of style–"

"I'm not talking about – whatever you were blathering on about! I mean Russia."

"Hmm? What about him?"

"_Look_ at him."

"The costume? Oh, nevermind that. A silly novelty act; it's Eurovision, surely we are not unfamiliar with those? Besides – it is not cute?"

"What? – No! It's Russia. Russia is not cute. He is threatening, troubled, enormously influential, occasionally rather pitiful, a useful ally at points and has worse weather than I do – but he is _never_ cute."

"Oh England. Always assuming the worst in people. I believe Russia is just trying to appeal to us, to show his less frightening side, provide us with delicious baked treats – can you rebuke such a man? Although you may simply be jealous that I called him cute, in which case..."

"Go die in a fire, Francis."

* * *

3.

"Um, Estonia?"

"Uh – Hi, Azerbaijan."

"Hi. Um, don't mean to pry or anything but – why are you hiding in the Italy brothers' cupboard?"

"Oh, um – I'm hiding from Russia. You know how it is. Is this the Italies' room? I thought there was no-one here."

"That's because they kinda haven't shown up yet, which is really annoying but apparently I'm not meant to be surprised because they're just like that and how was I meant to know that, I barely know the guys, but anyway."

"I see. Wait, Italy's one of the big 5; aren't they meant to show up early?"

"Well, yeah but – they didn't."

"Ah."

"Anyway, why are you hiding from Russia? Besides, like, the usual because really you can't keep that up for the whole competition and it's not what you normally do."

"He's singing in a Uralic language this year."

"...That's significant."

"Yes."

"..._Why_ is it significant?"

"Because I speak a Uralic language. And due to circumstances known as "Latvia and Lithuania being horrible people", I think he's come to the conclusion we're some sort of 'family', and hence he has to follow me around."

"I see. Uh, is he going to be following anyone else around?"

"Finland and Hungary; actually I think the language he's speaking is closer to Hungary's than to Fin's or mine, so..."

"Think you should go warn 'em?"

"...And reveal myself to danger?"

"Yup!"

"Damn you and your morals."

"Well really, I just kinda need to get you outta here before the Italy brothers arrive. Free Estonians is not a service many of my hotels provide; but who knows, maybe we could look into that..."

"And where are you planning on finding the Estonians?"

"I – nevermind! Go! Go rescue your – whoever; go rescue!"

* * *

4.

"Hello Estonia!"

"Shh!"

"...Why?"

"We're hiding."

"We are?"

"Yes. So's Hungary, if I manage to find her."

"Oh, um, I think she's off arguing with Romania somewhere? And again: why?"

"Because of Russia."

"...Well this can't end well..."

"You've heard about his song this year, haven't you?"

"Uh, vaguely. They're grandmothers or something, right? I didn't really understand, so I'm just staying away from him in the hopes it will go away. Actually that's my usual attitude to Russia. Hmm."

"Yes, well, they're also singing in a Uralic language. And he was being – quite eager to bond with his fellow Uralic-speakers, so I thought it was my duty to go warn you and Hungary. Well, Azerbaijan thought it was my duty to go warn you and Hungary."

"...I see."

"Don't look at me like that."

"Finland? Are you in there?"

"It's him."

"He's probably just here to be a 'good neighbour' as usual, and hence terrify me. I'll deal with it, you go hide in the corner. Don't worry! Who won the Winter War?"

"He did."

"Okay true, but that's just because he's Russia; I inflicted an extraordinary amount of damage given my lack of men and resources. Now, go hide like a sissy; let the daring and courageous me handle the bad man."

"You've spent too much time with Denmark."

"Ah Finland! Hello there! We have not seen one another around much so far, have we?"

"Oh, sorry about that. You know how it is, busy rehearsals and all that."

"You must be concerned that you feel your act is so inferior that you must desperately rehearse at the last minute to have a chance at succeeding. Oh well, it only makes it easier to beat you!"

"...You're costume! It's, um..."

"Mm?"

"Um..."

"What, little Finland?"

"Uh..."

"I advise you not to try my patience."

"It's cute! It's so very, very cute! With the little veil-thing, and the embroidered skirts, and – how did you do that?"

"Ah, it is traditional dress, da? I am glad it pleases you. But does that mean you do not usually find me cute?"

"..."

"Also, I baked cookies. Would you like some?"

"Oh! I, I couldn't possibly. Not when you worked so hard to bake them, and I'm sure they're a prop or something for your act–"

"Oh no, no, well there are cookies in the act but not these specific cookies; I am just trying to adopt an appropriate attitude, so by all means take them!"

"Well..."

_"Finland, what are you doing?" _

"What was that noise?"

"Nothing! Rats in the walls! Uh, yeah they're really noisy they keep me and Sve up all night, I mean not that he was in my room that would be inappropriate, I mean not that it would be any of your business if he were–"

"Rats in your walls? Hm. I must speak with Azeri about her lax building standards."

"...Oh dear..."

"Now, please Finland. I don't look kindly on those who refuse my hospitality."

_"Finland. Close the door, and walk away." _

"T-they do look pretty good..."

"Thank you. Now please, take the cookies."

_"Just slam the door in his face!" _

"...THANK YOU!"

"Ah!"

"...You took the cookies _and_ slammed the door in his face?"

"Well he was telling me to do one and you were telling me to do the other! It seemed like the best of both worlds!"

"You're a terrible person!"

"Am not!"

* * *

5.

"Serbia! I was looking for you!"

"Nice to see you too – can you put me down?"

"Oh – Oh sorry, dearest. So, ah, will you come and speak with me? You are not the type to run for no good reason."

"...No, no I'm not. So, what's up? Who are you upset about being upset with you this time?"

"Estonia and Finland, they are not responding to my attempts to demonstrate our similarities. I attempt to outreach by singing in a Uralic language! And this is how they repay me!"

"Well, to be fair, you in a dress is pretty terrifying."

"Hmph!"

"I kid, I kid. But this isn't unusual. Surely that's the way they normally react to you, so why are you upset?"

"...Because I have cookies this time!"

"Well, sadly, not even cookies can solve everything."

"Oh..."

* * *

6.

"I knew I shouldn't of taken directions from Romania! Bastard."

"Are you going to run away from me too Hungary?"

"Russia! ...Um... possibly?"

"Oh. That is sad. All the Uralics seem to be avoiding me; I don't know what I did wrong! You can have a cookie if you like."

"Thank you... Wait, why are you following the Uralics around?"

"Because I want to show you all! I have a language like yours, so I am like you! And we can all be friends! But you keep running away, so it's not really working."

"Oh. That's... really uncomfortable, actually."

"Is it?"

"Yes. No-one really likes being followed around, you know, especially not by someone they have... less than pleasant history with?"

"Oh, I see... I'm sorry. I'll just... I did not mean to frighten you."

"Wait!"

"Hmm? You wanted me to stop following you, did you not?"

"Well, yes but – now you're here, I'd feel bad for sending you away. And the old woman costume – it's cute, and I have sort of a weakness for cute things. So you can stay. And I'll assume there's nothing in the cookies."

"You will not hit me with your frying pan?"

"For christ's sake, I've done that like three times in my life! Why does everyone assume it's my default reaction to everything?"

"Well it is sort of memorable."

"...True."

* * *

7.

"...Why is Russia sitting at our table?"

"Because he asked."

"Hello Finland!"

"...Hello. Wait, what?"

"He asked if he could sit here with us. I said yes."

"Why?"

"Because I'm polite?"

"Norway, you are the least polite person I know! ...Except for Denmark."

"Oi, I'm right here!"

"Well so's Norway!"

"Russia also brought cookies."

"...I brought cookies..."

"Shut up, Denmark."

"Your arguments are silly, Nordics."

"...Uh, they are?"

"Yes. Now sit Finland, I wish to speak to you."

"Can I stand and you speak?"

"...Alright. I simply wished to apologise. I should not have appeared like that and forced my presence upon you; I was too pushy. I merely wished to establish a connection. I am very sorry frightening you."

"..."

"...Dude, seems legit."

"Shut up, Denmark."

"What is your problem?"

"Um, that's alright... Sorry for taking your cookies while still refusing to speak to you. If it makes you feel better, I was too guilty to eat them."

"It's okay, I made entirely too many of the things... It is a manner of relieving stress."

"Huh, you stress-bake too? High-five!"

"Denmark."

_"What did I say now?" _

"...Are you sure you wish to be included in the Nordic group with these two, Finland?"

"Not entirely..."

* * *

8.

"You realise you're being paranoid?"

"Yes. I realise."

"...Alright then."

"Don't look at me like that! If you recall, I'm still mad at you two for abandoning me!"

"N-now that's not fair! Little Latvia's nervous enough about his song – Latvia's nervous enough in general – and, well, you wouldn't want him panicking about Russia would you?"

"I guess not... Wait, it's okay for me to be panicking about Russia?"

"You can handle him!"

"No I can't!"

"You can pretend you can handle him!"

"...Baltics. They're untrustworthy people, you know."

"That's not fair."

"It is."

"Isn't."

"Is."

"Isn't."

"Is!"


End file.
